Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
