Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
