Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
