AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
