Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
