You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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