So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
