Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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