My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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