I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
