Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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