5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im having a threesome with these popsicles
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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