I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
