apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize