rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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