i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
