I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
