as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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