I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
