porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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