8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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