On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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