I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
