dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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