once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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