You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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