I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There r osticjed everywhere
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
