You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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