if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
