i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
