Buhtt sex?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize