I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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