bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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