How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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