I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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