Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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