WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
