remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
