I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize