I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
