i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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