My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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