How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize