1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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