NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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