Betty ford says i'm here all night
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
