Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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