We're facebook friends in real life
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
