You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
