I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
