just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
