So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
