So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
