my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
