You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
