Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
