dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
