oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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