doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
