Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
