we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
