summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
